If you struggle to feel sexual energy in your body or to feel aroused, relaxation is the key.
Make a list of 5–10 things that help you feel relaxed.
Perhaps it’s a hot bath, or a certain type of music, or being in nature, or having quiet around you, or looking out onto a certain view, or watching water flow, or being surrounded by candles, or smelling a certain fragrance, or wrapping yourself in your favourite blanket.
Start to notice what connects you to relaxation – & therefore more deeply to yourself.
Then immerse yourself in those things when you want to self pleasure.
For example, put on music that relaxes you, set the lights to how you want them, fragrance the air if that’s your thing, surround yourself with candles or snuggle up with fabrics that feel good.
Set a timer for 20–30 minutes. It can be important to do this so you know that you can fully relax until the timer buzzes. It allows the part of your mind that will worry about how late it is to relax.
Have some lube nearby (coconut oil, almond oil or your favourite other lube – I love “Liquid Silk”) & then get comfy in this beautiful environment.
Take in all the things that help you relax – the sounds, smells, sights, surrounds & energy.
Breathe it in!
Let it soak into your body.
Take your time.
Start to slowly & gently touch your body. Anywhere you feel called. You don’t have to go direct to your genitals.
Notice how you are both giving the touch & also receiving the touch.
Bring your awareness to the inside of your body & focus on how it feels to receive the touch.
Open yourself up to receive all the sensations of being touched.
Allow yourself to gently & slowly explore all over your body, taking in the touch & things that relax you.
Enjoy & let yourself have fun exploring. ❤️🌹❤️